Sally McNeil

Sally Marie McNeil (born September 30, 1960) is an American former sergeant, professional female bodybuilder, and muscle worship practitioner who was convicted of murdering her husband Ray McNeil, a Mr. Olympia competitor. McNeil was granted parole in 2020 and now lives a private life.

Early life and education McNeil was born Sally Dempsey in Allentown, Pennsylvania, on September 30, 1960. She describes her upbringing as tough, including exposure to such frequent violence that she thought it was commonplace in every home. Sally's father, Richard Dale Dempsey, was an alcoholic who frequently abused her mother.

McNeil attended Dieruff High School in Allentown, where she was on the school's swimming and diving and track and field teams. She enrolled at East Stroudsburg State College with aspirations of becoming a gym teacher. After three and a half years in college, however, she ran out of money to fund her education and dropped out.

Career Military career Following the path of her brother and her uncle before her, McNeil joined the United States Marine Corps at Camp Pendleton. She rose to the rank of sergeant.

Body building and wrestling McNeil started bodybuilding during her service at Camp Pendleton in 1987. In her first competition in February 1987, she placed fourth.

In 1990, McNeil relocated to Oceanside, California with her husband, Ray, and her two children. McNeil and Ray both aspired to become professional bodybuilders, but were unable to meet their expenses. McNeil began a career wrestling men on video for $300 an hour, earning her the moniker Killer Sally. She was trained by videomaker Bill Wick, husband of Kay Baxter. She also worked as a female submission wrestler and performed muscle worship sessions with men. While the acts were inherently sexual for the buyer, McNeil denies ever having sexual relations during them. She said she did not enjoy the work, but found that the income outweighed what she labeled a "dark side."

Personal life McNeil met her first husband, Anthony Lowden, at Parris Island, while serving in the U.S. Marines. The two were married for four years and had two children: Shantina and John. McNeil described Lowden as abusive towards the end of their marriage.

While she was in the process of transferring to Camp Pendleton, McNeil filed for divorce from Lowden and was awarded custody of their two oldest children. The third child was put up for adoption.

The family settled in Oceanside, California. Ray began using steroids, which McNeil blamed for his violent behavior.

In 1991, Ray won the heavyweight and overall titles in the NPC California Championships, the IFBB, and North American Championships, and competed in the 1993 Mr. Olympia competition, where he placed 15th. He also began participating in professional wrestling and did stand-up comedy, performing his material at The Comedy Club in La Jolla, California.

According to his friend, Dwayne "DJ" Jeffers, Ray got into an altercation with another man one night while working as a bouncer at a nightclub and ended up gouching his fingers through his eyes. Shantina, McNeil's daughter, verified the incident, recalling seeing Ray arriving home covered in blood and telling her that he had to do what he did because others were trying to kill him.

Both Shantina and John claimed they witnessed Ray being abusive towards McNeil, and say they were also victims. Shantina claims to have seen him choke her mother and witnessed Ray breaking McNeil's nose in front of her, an incident she reported to her Marine superiors. Ray was detained and released shortly after. McNeil claims that he proceeded to beat her until she promised to drop the charges, which she eventually did. John stated that when McNeil was away, Ray would become abusive towards them.

McNeil also claimed that Ray also sexually abused her throughout their marriage, forcing her to have sex despite her denials. Under oath, McNeil testified that she received numerous injuries, including five broken bones, over the course of their marriage.

Ray had an affair with another woman, Marianne Myers, and left McNeil for her. According to Jeffers, Ray planned to spend Valentine's Day in 1995 with the other woman, not his wife. Ray told Jeffers he told McNeil about ending their relationship, and Jeffers warned him about the shotgun in their house. Jeffers raised the possibility that Sally might shoot him, but Ray laughed it off.

Murder of Ray McNeil On February 14, 1995, emergency services in Oceanside, California, received a call from McNeil, who said: "I just shot my husband because he just beat me up."

Earlier that night, Ray was on a date with Marianne Myers, his mistress, unbeknownst to McNeil, as he had claimed he was going to get chicken for dinner. She was preparing to go out and find Ray, but he later arrived after 10:30pm. The police transcript reads that Ray, "slapped her, pushed her down on the floor, and started choking her. McNeil squirmed away, ran into the bedroom, and took her sawed-off shotgun out of its case in the closet." McNeil then shot Ray twice: once in the abdomen and once in the jaw.

Both of McNeil's children were present in the apartment, but in their own room during the shooting. Shantina left the room after hearing the shots, saw Ray's state, and ran to a neighbor's apartment for help. Ray was still alive and conscious when police arrived. He was taken to Scripps Memorial Hospital, however he was declared dead two hours later. McNeil was arrested for murder.

Trial and conviction The defense argued that McNeil suffered from Battered Woman Syndrome after years of mental and physical abuse by Ray. The defense expert explained that due to her diagnosis, this would have caused McNeil to shoot in self-defense as she genuinely perceived herself to be in imminent danger.

In 1996, she was convicted of second degree murder and sentenced to 19 years to life.

Other legal issues McNeil was arrested in 1990, for brandishing a firearm at Lowden and smashing the windows of his vehicle with a metal bar. She had been arrested previously for assaulting a mailman who had slapped her son, John, after he had a fight with the mailman's son.

In 1990, McNeil attacked a woman she suspected was having an affair with Ray at a bodybuilding show, pinning her to the floor and hitting her repeatedly. This resulted in the National Physique Committee suspending her for a year.

Post-prison personal life Following her release, McNeil married Norfleet Stewart, whom she met through her Veterans Transition Center support group. She currently resides in Northern California.

McNeil reconnected with Shantina and John following her release and met her grandchildren. Both attended her wedding. Shantina is a former army staff sergeant and has one son, Donnell. On March 4, 2024, reportedly homeless at the time and suffering from PTSD, John was fatally shot in Augusta, Georgia. He had three children.

Norfleet Stewart died on March 28, 2026 in Augusta, Georgia .

Bodybuilding

Year Body Competition Division Placing 1988 NPC US Armed Forces Championships Middleweight 1st NPC US Armed Forces Championships Overall 1st 1991 NPC Junior USA Lightweight 5th NPC Nationals Middleweight 13th NPC Palm Spring Classic Middleweight 4th 1992 NPC Junior USA Middleweight 2nd NPC Nationals Middleweight 12th IFBB North American Championships Middleweight 9th NPC USA Championships Middleweight 5th 1994 NPC Nationals Heavyweight 16th IFBB North American Championships Heavyweight 6th NPC USA Championships Middleweight 5th

In media In October 2022, Netflix released a three-part docuseries, Killer Sally, covering the case and its aftermath. It was directed by Nanette Burstein, whose previous credits include On the Ropes (1999) and Hillary (2020).