John Swartzwelder

John Joseph Swartzwelder Jr. (born February 8, 1949) is an American comedy writer and novelist, best known for his work on the animated television series The Simpsons. Born in Seattle, Washington, Swartzwelder began his career working in advertising. He was later hired to work on comedy series Saturday Night Live in the mid-1980s as a writer. He later contributed to fellow writer George Meyer's short-lived Army Man magazine, which led him to join the original writing team of The Simpsons, beginning in 1989.

He worked on The Simpsons as a writer and producer until 2003, and later contributed to The Simpsons Movie. He wrote the largest number of Simpsons episodes (59 full episodes, with contributions to several others) by a large margin. After his retirement from the show, he began a career as a writer of self-published absurdist novels. He has written more than a dozen novels, the most recent of which, Dead Detective Mountain, was published in 2023.

Swartzwelder is revered among comedy fans and his colleagues. He is known for his reclusiveness, and gave his first-ever interview in 2021, in The New Yorker. Per Mike Sacks, "Swartzwelder's specialty on The Simpsons was conjuring dark characters from a strange, old America: banjo-playing hobos, cigarette-smoking ventriloquist dummies, nineteenth-century baseball players, rat-tailed carnival children, and pantsless, singing old-timers."

Early life Swartzwelder was born in Seattle, Washington, on February 8, 1949, He attended high school in Renton, Washington.

Career

Saturday Night Live

In 1983, Swartzwelder sent a joke submission to the writers of Late Night with David Letterman, in which he signed but left no address. Writer Jim Downey traced Swartzwelder based on the Chicago postmark on the card via phone books at the New York Public Library.

At SNL, Swartzwelder shared an office with Robert Smigel, and met George Meyer, who later proved instrumental in hiring him for The Simpsons. During his time on SNL, Swartzwelder became known for writing odder material. He was fired in mid-1986, which Smigel attributed to the network's pressure on show creator Lorne Michaels to make personnel changes. Meyer quit SNL and created the magazine Army Man, recruiting Swartzwelder to help write it. Meyer says his favorite line was by Swartzwelder in one issue: "I'm not strong enough to end it all, so I guess I'll kill myself." Meyer said of Army Man:

1988–2004: The Simpsons

In 1988, Sam Simon, a reader of Army Man, recruited Swartzwelder and Meyer to write for the animated sitcom The Simpsons. Swartzwelder's scripts typically needed less rewriting than those of other writers, with about 50% being used.

According to Simpsons creator Matt Groening, Swartzwelder wrote Simpsons episodes sitting in a booth at a coffee shop "drinking copious amounts of coffee and smoking endless cigarettes". When California passed an anti-smoking law, Swartzwelder bought the booth and installed it in his house, allowing him to continue his process in peace. It eventually surfaced online in 2014.

Swartzwelder left The Simpsons after the fifteenth season (2003–04). His last airing episode ("The Regina Monologues") was a "holdover" written for the fourteenth (2002–03) season. At 59 episodes, Swartzwelder has written more episodes of the show than any other crew member by a significant margin.

2004–present: Novels Since leaving The Simpsons, Swartzwelder has taken up writing absurdist novels, beginning in 2004 with the publication of science fiction detective story The Time Machine Did It starring private investigator Frank Burly. The next year he published Double Wonderful, a Western, before returning to the Burly character for How I Conquered Your Planet in 2006, The Exploding Detective in 2007, Dead Men Scare Me Stupid in 2008, Earth vs. Everybody in 2009, The Last Detective Alive in 2010, The Fifty Foot Detective in 2011, and The Million Dollar Policeman in 2012. In 2014, a children's book written in the late 1970s by Swartzwelder and illustrated by David Schutten was published by Green House Books. Swartzwelder self-publishes his books. Simpsons writer David Cohen related a story of Swartzwelder going on an extended diatribe about how there is more rainforest on Earth now than there was 100 years ago. Comedy writer Mike Sacks described Swartzwelder as the "Thomas Pynchon of the comedy world".

In 2016, Swartzwelder created a Twitter account. It was confirmed official by several of his former Simpsons colleagues. The account mostly tweets excerpts from Swartzwelder's books. He hopes The Simpsons "helped create a generation of wise guys, who live in a world where everybody is up to something. If that's all we've achieved, aside from the billions of dollars we've made, I'm satisfied." George Meyer said: "Even among comedy weirdos, he stands out. He's irreplaceable." Fellow writer Dan Greaney described Swartzwelder as "the best writer in the world today in any medium". Groening said that the appearance of the character Herman was based on Swartzwelder, with the exception of his one arm.

Filmography

Television

Year Film Role Notes 1985–86 Saturday Night Live Writer, 18 episodes Stars as a pirate in December 7, 1985 episode hosted by John Lithgow 1987 Nightlife Writer, 1 episode 1988 Women in Prison Writer, 1 episode 1988 Mr. President Writer, 1 episode 1988 The Dictator Writer, 1 episode 1989–2003 The Simpsons Writer, 59 episodes, story editor, consultant, producer 1996 Pistol Pete Creator, executive producer, writer Unsold pilot for Fox Broadcasting Company

Film Year Film Role Notes 2007 The Simpsons Movie Writer Additional credit for lyrics on "Spider Pig" and "Springfield Anthem"

Simpsons episodes

The Simpsons episodes written by Swartzwelder

"Bart the General" "The Call of the Simpsons" "Life on the Fast Lane" "The Crepes of Wrath"